103. Everyone Needs a Guru
“So, you’ve written a book. Now what?” I asked myself. I popped online and learned I needed an editor. After a misstep in my initial search, I found someone with whom I really wanted to work. As fate or really good luck would have it, Andria Flores, out of the Lone Star State, became my editor. “Now what?” I asked the professional.
The Warden advised, “You need someone to handle the proofreading, and the manuscript formatting, and a publisher if you aren’t going to self-publish.” My editor set about finding that certain ‘someone’ for me. In stepped Nancy Pendleton, a wealth of publishing information and experience that if listed could fill a book. “Okay, now what?” I asked my professionals.
“You need a website designer and social media manager,” they advised.
“A what?”
I was put on notice by The Goddess, “You need a website to showcase your work. That’s where your blog will be.”
“Blog?”
“An online journal. A place where your readers can go to learn about you and your books.”
I was doing my fair share of head nodding during her explanation, but the word banging though my head was, “AreYouFuckingKiddingMeRightNow?” The last thing I wanted to do was step away from a very productive book writing period to figure out what my website should look like, what functionality it should have, find someone to create and manage it — all the while keeping myself from flipping a nut about writing a blog. “What the hell could I possibly write about? Furthermore, who the hell would want to read a blog written by a 60 year old recliner recluse?” I rapid-fired questions to Tim about the necessity of the blog, but my creative husband was already swooning over the possibilities of showcasing my work on a website. “They must know what they're talking about.”
“Get out the checkbook,” my way of testing his commitment to this new venture. When he handed it over without hesitation, I knew we were all-in on this publishing dream of mine. So, like any mere mortal who’s been given a directive from a goddess, I put my desire to write books aside, tried to squelch my fears about most of the new stuff dumped on my lap, and headed out on my very own odyssey — a search for someone to do most of the new stuff dumped on my lap!
First up, I decided to visit websites belonging to some of my favorite authors. They were all very unique in design but nearly identical in content with two prominent headings: Books and Blog. The other website places of note were: About, News, Coming Soon, Reviews, as well as links to FB, Twitter, and Instagram. After spending several hours on research I was happy to report to Tim, “The websites ran the gamut from soft and sensuous, to fun and fantastic, to bold and brash. Each site had its own vibe, beautifully displayed book covers, perfectly crafted book blurbs, and blogs written by prolific authors AND they had lots of bells and whistles to grab the attention of a visitor.” I had my cover design figured out, and I knew I could do the blurbs, and I figured I could stumble through the blogs, but as for the important website stuff, I knew what I needed.
A GURU!
I went looking for one — one came looking for me.
I went to Thumbtack, the online place to go when you are looking for someone to fix it, build it, create it, or do it — whatever the IT may be, there are plenty of professionals to choose from on Thumbtack. I submitted an S.O.S. email saying I was looking for someone to build a website for an author. My listed needs were based on very limited research and no working knowledge. Still, within minutes, Jessica Champion emailed me with a laundry list of her abilities and a list of satisfied clients as well as links to their websites. Her email subject line could have been:
I can do all of this and then some, so why don’t you go do something else and let me handle this for you.
What I have learned is that there is nothing Guru Jessica can’t do. For those of you who have popped onto my website you know how wonderfully laid out it is, and how easy it is to move throughout the links, and that it perfectly displays my works. It captured my hopeful vision and then exceeded it with sophisticated layouts and an actual ‘pulling thread’ on Silhouette Man, the feature figure on all of my book covers. That brilliant visual was Guru, all Guru.
Okay. I have a Guru.
Now What?
We worked together for two years — really worked together. We emailed several times each week, saw our visions on things become actual work product, and watched the website grow into an informative and functional place for visitors. And then in November 2021 things changed. I was slapped with a TBD death date. It was as though Guru Jessica was kicked in the gut and I could hear the push of exhale all the way from New Jersey. In an instance, this young woman needed to connect with me on a more personal level. She started telling me who she was via email. During many long, lonely nights in the very beginning of this shit fest, I sat back in my recliner and learned who Jessica Champion is — by learning who she was.
A singer. A linguist. A writer.
Jessica wanted to be an opera singer and at one time was pursuing a degree in performing arts; vocal performance. Quite definitely, she had the chops. This is part of what I read in a late night email sent by someone I thought I knew.
I had a short musical theater career…I was Cinderella in Sondheim’s Into the Woods, Mabel in Gilbert & Sullivan’s Pirates of Penzance, and there were other roles, although my choir history was much more notable. I competed all over the country and recorded albums with state, regional and national choirs. Singing in a talented choir is one of the most beautiful experiences I’ve had. It’s pure transcendence…If you listen to the likes of the St. Olaf Choir and Westminster Choir — that’s what I’m talking about. I’ve performed all over the country (Carnegie Hall, Lincoln Center, The Apollo Theater) and all over Europe. I’ve sung solos in ancient cathedrals and heard my own voice echoing back from the sacred rafters of churches in Venice and Vienna. I’ve toured with gospel choirs, backed famous performers, sung with world famous orchestras (including the Dresden Philharmonic Orchestra), I was a member of the Philadelphia Singers, Performed at The Kimmel Center, and was directed by Peter Nero and other notable conductors.
Jessica speaks five languages, learning early from her military dad who introduced her to foreign speech in the simplest yet poignant ways.
I absorbed some of the romance languages by osmosis; my father loved to take me into the pizza shop across town and teach me how to order in Italian to the Carabinieri behind the counter. He brought home souvenirs from every faraway place he visited, but my favorite ones were the stories of friends he made from other countries and how he learned to speak their language simply by listening. I was allowed to start studying a foreign language in middle school. As a high point in my linguistic life, I delivered the welcome speech in French on a huge amphitheater stage in France, and in order to earn my language degree I had to write a 26-page thesis entirely in French.
Long before that, Jessica became a published writer at the age of 11. Two of her teachers encouraged her budding passion for writing and a third put her work in the limelight — she followed right along.
My 7th grade English teacher, Mrs. Megronigle, would push me to display my writing to the public. Everyone thought she was a curmudgeon, but I liked her. I was shy and still pretty unaware I had any actual talent, but she went all clandestine on me and secretly submitted one of my homework assignments to the local paper. It got published on the front page. When I walked into class one morning and saw the newspaper sitting on the table in the front of the classroom with my name on it, I was mortified, and thought all the other kids would taunt me endlessly, but it actually worked out.
Like most budding writers, Jessica tried her hand at poetry, entered contests and joined clubs for young authors. Soon though, music and linguistics moved onto her center stage, so she put her serious interest in writing aside.
It’s something I hope to get back to, one day. I’ve got the titles for future books and chapters written down, and lots of little snippets and excerpts that I have to piece together. I’m sure one day I’ll get to it.
I never knew these things about Jessica Champion; the young professional I came to know as Guru Jessica. I’m not sure she would have ventured down the road of self-disclosure had I not been sick, but there we were and here we are — better acquainted and better friends.
Connections
During this end of life journey, I have done the most remarkable thing: I have forged deep relationships with people who have always been within arm’s reach, and those who live thousands of miles away. I guess the urgency surrounding an impending death allows people to get down to it. There’s no hedging or waiting for just the right moment to share this, or ask that.
I know, in general terms, there is a brevity of time allowed me. That knowledge has stripped away the reticence of sharing and more importantly, of asking things I want to know, things I always wanted to know. Bottomline, I want to know the people I am leaving behind. I think that’s partly why I did the writing activity. I wanted to learn things, first and foremost, about the people I love. I wanted them to reflect and then share something I might not have known.
It worked.
I never knew that first graders can fall in love with the very right person like Kathy Gaffney did. I never knew a kitchen sink, a pencil sharpener, and a tea cup collection at my childhood home could hold memory space for a neighborhood kid like it did for Sheila Lavallee Westerlind. I never knew the ‘cool kid’ from my high school was a closeted barbershop quartet enthusiast like Kevin Mullaney is. I never really knew how Donnie and Denise met and fell in love, or what my brother did during all those years away from home. I never knew how much our summer camp meant to my kid sister Marchrie. I never knew the clarity with which my mother remembers her 71 year friendship with Peggy.
I suppose I could have known all of this if I had asked.
But, who asks?
I put myself out there in the blog; I told my story as it unfolded. There were tears shed along the way, for sure, but there have been many laughs and light moments, too. As time moved on, the number of people reading it grew and grew. Names that I did not recognize started leaving friend requests and emojis on this blog or that comment or that inspiration quote. After a few ‘thumbs up’ or ‘hearts’ or ‘wow’ symbols I would get a direct message — they all started the same way, “Hi, you don’t know me but I am a friend of your …” And just like that we were off. There were always heartfelt expressions about my circumstance, but mostly there was the sharing, or the unburdening of those who reached out, those who have suffered loss and found me a welcoming place to share their story. It is by far the greatest honor and surprise of this time and this effort.
Lessons learned.
People hold a place in time. They work and play, find and sometimes lose loving relationships, they suffer unimaginable loss then somehow find their way to move forward, they seek adventure in different countries or in their own backyards, and minute by minute they create memories that get tucked away until that time rolls around — when you learn you are dying or when you open yourself up to someone who is. It’s then and there that you find a memory you want to share.
Having held the letters that told the stories of your lives confirmed what I suspected, there was an eagerness to share and a desire to chronicle an important place in time — in your time. The feedback from those who wrote a little something and from those who simply enjoyed the exercise was quite remarkable.
Coming Full Circle
Jessica Champion didn’t participate in the writing challenge when it was happening. She sent an email bemoaning her inability to find the time as she was eyeball deep in expanding her personal universe and incorporating a whole new set of offerings in her professional life. And though the challenge had come and gone, she sent me this.
Dear Sheryll (my angel),
I just got to my office, opened my laptop, and read your email. In it, you echoed my sentiments about the special and unique nature of our relationship, encouraged me to connect with your family, and shared some wisdom about relationships and time. What a gift you are.
From the start I knew we were meant to work together and I’m so grateful you chose me. Your trust has meant the world. Not only has it given me an incredibly meaningful take on my initial career path and body of work, but your trust has also extended to my new venture, astrology and coaching. When I decided I could actually make a living out of it, your enthusiasm and willingness to participate really bolstered my confidence, so thank you.
I believe that when we’re in alignment with what we’re supposed to be doing, we start to receive and be more aware of messages from the other side. Just in the last few days, I’ve received many messages — 1) a dragonfly landed on my toe when I was sitting outside; 2) a Monarch butterfly stopped me in my tracks when I was returning from my hike in the woods; 3) a red-tailed hawk flew right in front of my windshield and up into a tree where I got to watch it for a few minutes. I haven’t taken the time to really research what each of these symbols mean but I’m confident that my guides are sending me messages. Maybe my grandmother is visiting me.
For the longest time there was a cardinal who would follow me around the house by looking in the windows and moving to the ones of the room I was in. It followed me around from morning to evening for about 2.5 years, in all seasons and weather. It would fly into the glass over and over, as if it were trying to get in. One day it just stopped. And of course, we always have deer in the yard. I’m sure those aren’t directly appointed to me, but the cardinal was… Muah!
Jessica Champion and Sheryll O’Brien are on very specific, and very different journeys. I share her belief in spiritual connection with those who passed before us. According to the many email messages I’ve received from friends, old and new alike, most people believe in, or hope for, communications from beyond. Most go on to say the connection will most likely take the lifeform of an animal or bird, or something from nature.
No disagreement here.
I found this part of Jessica’s letter personally poignant: And of course, we always have deer in the yard. I’m sure those aren’t directly appointed to me…
Why does the presence of deer in her yard interest me? Because my spirit animal is the white tailed deer.